A Walk, an Oh-So-Glorious Walk

We have had amazing weather lately.  Not a negative kind of amazing; the wonderful, here's a reminder that spring will come kind of amazing.  What's the big deal?  Well, pretty much everyone in the Continental U.S. would have to agree that this winter has been downright almost too much to handle.  Snow storm after snow storm (you poor Easterners!), and lately the down-to-the-bone type of cold.....I mean, COLD.  So these past few days, with their upper-30 to mid-40 temps, (and today with its 50-ish temp) the kind of temps that is producing much melting, have been simply heavenly.

Given that, I took a walk last Friday.  That day it was only in the mid-30s, but I thought, I'm going to do it.  I'm going to take advantage of this and get out there.  So I donned my snow pants, my Keen hiking shoes (waterproof and cold proof), had my wool socks on already (a staple for me ALL winter), my heavy gloves, a head band thing to protect my ears, and my Titanium Columbia jacket.  And away I went.

Well, within minutes it was clear that this idea was simply brilliant.  I was invigorated from just the first few steps.  Why?  Well, I looked up and the bright, blue sky was right there before me.  Nothing was between me and it; only the clear, crisp air that I was inhaling with great glee.  No kitchen window or car windshield was impeding my view of this sky.  I was out there, looking at it and really seeing it in its full glory for the first time in months.

And the sounds were glorious too.  Birds chirping, the gurgle sound because of the melting.  Oh, it was music to my ears, and a small glimpse of what will come full blast in March and April.

The trail that I was on was not fully cleared of snow and slush, so I had to pay attention to every step.  But that necessity to focus on my steps did not at all take away from the joy that I was experiencing, and that was building with each step. 

I was convinced that I was going to encounter at least a couple of people who had the same conviction as I did to take advantage of this weather.  I thought for sure I'd hear someone coming up from behind either running or on a bike.  But I got about half-way through my walk and I actually started hoping I WOULDN'T encounter anybody.  This walk and this experience I wanted to be all mine.  I wanted to own this 2-mile path and the joy I was getting from it; I wanted to be selfish about this adventure. 

I wanted to revel in the fact that this time I was being active.  I wasn't lazy this time.  I was out there, walking away, gradually feeling warmth and perhaps a fine layer of sweat.  I had so often glimpsed runners, even in the depths of winter, running on this same path.  I admired their courage to run during the coldest of cold days, fighting through the burn in the chest that they most surely were experiencing; I always saw these runners as better than I....they were out there.....they did it.....good for them.

Well, last Friday I did it.  I got out there.  I was being glimpsed, perhaps, by someone ELSE through THEIR kitchen window.  Maybe someone else was saying, "Good for her"........about me.

I should clarify.  I saw no HUMANS on my walk.  Three deer were out there that day, a ways ahead of me, but I most surely got a good glimpse.  I love deer.  They are beautiful.  We get about 5 or 6 that walk the same self-made path in our backyard every night.  And because we have motion lights out back, we are made aware of their presence.  It's fun.  Must've been the same deer that crossed the trail while I was walking.  Simply icing on the cake.

Yes, by the time I got home, I couldn't wait to shed my layers of clothing.  I was a bit sweaty, but, man oh man, did it feel good.  And I walked the next day, and also the next.    4 of 5 days I made it out there because the weather cooperated that long.  I'm about to go again in a few minutes with my husband.  He's the only human I'll gladly allow to impede this joy. 

To panic or not to panic....

.....that is the question.

If you were to ask me on any given day how I felt about homeschooling my kids all the way through high school, I'd give you my answer.  But, beware.  If you ask me again on a different day, you'd probably get a different answer.  And if it was the day that I wasn't so sure about it, you might even get weepiness.  And a woman on the verge of an anxiety attack.  And hyperventilation.  And.....well, I'll stop being dramatic.  I think I've made my point.

It's true.  I'm kind of a spaz about this; kind of Jekyll and Hyde-ish about the subject.  I've flip-flopped on this so much.  And just recently I flip-flopped within one week.  And I don't think I'm done.  Not by a long shot.

A few years ago, as I contemplated my oldest in high school, I thought, no way, Jose!  I can't do that.  Then I went to the Midwest Homeschool Conference in Cincinnati, OH, when we were living in Columbus.  Fabulous!  If you ever have the chance to go, do it!  I promise you won't be disappointed.  I went to a workshop by Dr. Wile, of Apologia Science fame.  Again, fabulous!  I attended with a friend of mine, and we both left feeling refreshed, renewed, and firmly convicted that we, indeed, COULD do this.  And I really mean that.  It was an amazing feeling.  And I stayed that way for some time.

Now Sarah is in 7th grade, time to really start researching EVERYTHING high school.  And, boy oh boy, did I do a doozy on that conviction.  Well, I should say that Satan did a doozy on that conviction.  I really have felt attacked by Satan on this level.  He wants nothing more than to convince me I can't do this; that my kids would be better off in public school.  Then I wouldn't have as much opportunity to disciple them within our Christian faith. 

But then I had a great conversation with a friend of mine, really a wonderful mentor for me on these matters.  And actually her daughter participated, my friend's oldest who graduated from their homeschool a few years ago.  They encouraged me, they hugged me, they pooh-poohed my anxiety, but gently and with grace.  I felt uplifted and back in that place where I can scoff at Satan's attempts to derail my convictions.

Where am I now?  Well, we've had a bad couple of days, where I think I want them out of my hair, and wouldn't my stress level go way down, and wouldn't life be more convenient with them in school???  Yeah, it's been tough lately, but we also had a wonderful afternoon in front of a roaring fire because the temperature refused, simply refused, to climb into double digits.  We got to read a book that we have simply savored for the past few months.  Love it.  Let me repeat...love it.

So for now, I'm not panicking.  But reader beware.....who knows what my next blog will bring!  

Planning

So I sat huddled with our homeschooling books and papers and planners for about three days last week.  Weather was iffy, New Year's weekend, no plans; time to snuggle up and get ourselves ready to hit the books this week.  I was feeling so good about tackling it all.  Correcting, planning, filing, thinking, straightening. 

So Monday comes, and I realize that for all that planning and scheduling, I STILL was not totally prepared for Monday's school day.  And I was no where near to being completely caught up on correcting and filing.  But didn't I just sit with everything for three straight days?  Weren't we inseparable, me and all those books and papers?  What happened?

Kind of disheartening.  Will I ever get caught up?  Hardly seems so anymore.  But my New Year's mantra is, if you've not read my previous post:  PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION.  Trying to grip that real close these days.  Or it would be real easy to slip back into my, "Why try?" mode.

And then even with all the stuff I did get written down and planned, life happened.  I had to go to the doctor to get a cough checked out.  Jeremy had an appointment.  Has another one tomorrow.  *SIGH* 

PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION, DANI...

Happy 2011

A new year.  New hopes.  New goals.  New resolve.  New schedule.  New mindset.  New attitudes.  New habits.

Got an e-mail recently from one of the many lists I belong to.  Can't find it now, but it's focus was the New Year and it focused on this phrase/sentiment:  Progress, not perfection.  This may not be anything new to many, many people, but I had not really heard that phrase before.  And it is particularly poignant for me at this time of year, at THIS PARTICULAR NEW YEAR.  Three simple words that I will hold close to my heart in 2011 as I try to shake things up around here.  It's so easy for me, with my personality, to try to maintain perfection.....right away!  Not possible.  Never will be.  Not God's will.  If perfection were attainable, then we wouldn't need Him and would never seek Him.

No, I will shoot for Progress this Year.  I truly desire for change in a lot of ways.  First and foremost is me.  Change from within will make outside change possible.  Then it will truly be a..........

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

My Kids' Veteran's Day Essays

My husband was off work today because of Veteran's Day.  He is employed by the Federal Government, so ergo, holiday for him today.  He put on the teacher hat, and asked if he could assign the kids an essay.  I had a brief moment where I wanted to say "No", not in our schedule for the day.  But these once-in-a-while essays seem important to my husband.  He's done this before, and, okay, I'm all for having my kids write and write and write. 

So he asked Sarah and Jeremy to write an essay on "What is Veteran's Day?" and "Why do we celebrate it?"  Reprinted below are their completed work, exactly as they wrote it:

by Jeremy

Veteran's Day is a holiday where we celebrate those who have given their lives for our country. Although quite a lot of soldiers died in the wars we won the battles that we fought. Many soldiers probably got an award for there deeds of fighting. Through the battles of World War I and World War II there were great losses in soldiers, but our soldiers came through and won. It must have been a terrible fight, but our soldiers kept fighting and resisted. And that is why we have this holiday, Veteran's Day.

by Sarah

Veterans' Day is a federal holiday when we recognize all soldiers who have served in the army. It is a great chance to show our appreciation for men and women who have fought for our country's freedom. War is a dirty business and I don't think it is very pleasant. What is the most amazing thing about soldiers? It is the fact that they sign-up for the army of their own freewill! They aren't drafted by the government, soldiers do it simply out of love for our sweet country and for our liberty.

So there you have it.  I admit that I'm especially proud of Jeremy's.  His writing has come a long way, and Tom and I both thought it was pretty darn good!  And Sarah's......"War is a dirty business"....I mean, come on.....that's just priceless.

Tom posted these on his Facebook page, which tells you how proud he is.  Just putting them out there, in all their unedited glory.  I'm glad he did, and I'm proud to post them here.

P.S.  I admit that I asked Tom if he thought their essays made me look like a good homeschooling Mama.  He said Yes.  Whew.

Trees

Jeremy got a perfect score on his math test this morning (as a side note, he was up just before 7 A.M. to get a jump on his schoolwork!).  Yes, this is something to praise and he should certainly be proud.  But, why blog about it?  And what on earth does it have to do with "Trees"????

Be patient, Dear Reader; I'll make my case my blog's end.

I'm in my eighth year of homeschooling.  Wow!!!!  I've completed seven years of educating my kids at home.  I say "Wow" not at all because I'm patting myself on my back for this.  It's just that it seems like I just started yesterday......where has the time gone?  And why don't I have more figured out with this homeschooling thing?  One would think I'd be better at this.....but, alas, I've learned it doesn't quite work that way.

In fact, I would liken my homeschooling-mama journey with my Faith journey, my walk with Christ.  These two things aren't at all like learning to ride a bike, or finishing a Sudoku puzzle.  With the bike and the puzzle, there's a goal, an end in sight.  With patience and perseverance (and, unfortunately perhaps, after many scrapes and tears), one soon is pedaling away down the street amidst cheers and applause from mom and dad; big grin ensues from child.  Then that skill is with the child forever and ever.  So, too, with the puzzle.....think hard, analyze, erase (perhaps), and lo and behold, you have the whole grid filled in with numbers and a sense of accomplishment follows.  Task done.  On to the next thing in your day.

Homeschooling and following Jesus???  Not so much.

We never "arrive" with homeschooling or our Faith-walk; they are never "done".  They both are journeys with varying "goals", but we're always tweaking, we're always trying to do better.  And, boy oh boy, could I do better with both!!!!  I guess one could say that the end-goal with my homeschooling is to graduate my kids successfully.  This is true (if I don't first enroll them in school in a fit of frustration!).  :-)  The process by which I help them receive their diploma is not clear-cut, though; there's not going to be an ah-ha moment where I get to then sit back and be done, and watch them learn.  Always tweaking, always evolving.....And with my Faith?  Well, perhaps that's better left for another blog post....

"Wait....what about those trees???"

Well, there's one thing I am certain of in this homeschooling thing.  One key to success for any homeschooling Mama is to strike the right balance between the forest and the trees.  Have I found the right balance???  HA!!!  Surely you jest.  Are you kidding?  Heck no!  And I probably won't EVER, even if I reach the "goal" of graduating my youngest (which will be in the year 2025....GASP!!!).  What do I mean by the trees and forest metaphor, then?

I've got to see the big picture, the forest, as I homeschool my kids.  I've got to step back and remember the big goal here.  I get to spend inordinate amounts of time with my precious gifts from God.  While I do need a break often, and tons of coffee, I plain and simple enjoy my kids' company.  As goofy as this sounds, I'd miss them if they were in school all day!!!  And we wouldn't have gotten to enjoy all these great books together that we've read over these seven years.  Not reading to my older two for a couple of hours every afternoon would make me sad.  The big picture is discipling them at home, in addition to educating them and preparing them to contribute to society.

But seeing the bigger picture doesn't mean that I ignore the trees in our forest. 

So here come the trees and what it has to do with Jeremy acing his math test.  We recently took a step back with J's math.  He was struggling.  Not his best subject.  He was getting way too many wrong on each lesson, and it was time to stop and review, and build a stronger math platform.  That's my job.  Making sure my kids get this stuff sufficiently.  I HAD TO STOP AND SEE THIS PARTICULAR TREE IN OUR HOMESCHOOLING FOREST.  THIS TREE WAS SAGGING AND IN DESPERATE NEED OF ATTENTION.  But, I confess that it took me a bit too long to recognize this issue.  I shouldn't have let him go that far with that many errors in his lessons.   

So we went back about 20-odd lessons, and quite simply, J redid them.  I retaught each concept, and we discussed problems with which he particularly struggles (story problems, for example).  We're seeing the fruits of this methodical review.  Case in point, this morning's math test.  J's math "tree" is growing stronger, and more importantly, he is gaining math confidence.  Awesome to witness!!!  Fist-pumping as we correct his lessons is now a common occurrence!  :-)

So we've come full circle (well, if I did my blog-writing job well, that is).  I will always struggle with our family's forest and trees.  Right now, I whine and rant and stomp about trees, and I am neglecting to remember the bigger picture.  See????  I told you I didn't have this figured out.  What I DO have figured out, though, is that God has called me to do this.  And He won't forsake me in this.  He will carry me, and He will forgive me when I make mistakes (and, boy, will there be many).  And the Holy Spirit will convict me when either the forest gets or the trees get forgotten.  I am thankful for that.   

"Let's Give Her Something to Blog About"

(The above blog title should be sung to Bonnie Raitt's "Let's Give 'Em Something to Talk About")  :-)

I would like to be a blogger that blogs every day.  However, a lot of the time, when I reflect upon our day, I am uninspired; nothing stands out as blog-worthy.  Such was not the case yesterday!  Several things occurred after which I thought, "Oh....I gotta blog about that."; it was a blog-worthy Thursday.

1)  EARLY BIRD:  When I staggered downstairs to get my much-needed morning coffee going, Jeremy, my 5th grader, was laying on the couch.  When he saw me, he bounded up and said, "Mama, I got my math, my Rod & Staff (grammar), my Latin, my Roots of English and my critical thinking done."  The clock said 8:15 am-ish!!!  I asked him what time he got up.  He said 7:15 am.  I asked, "Why?"  (wouldn't you if your adolescent voluntarily got up that early???).  He said so that he could get his work done.  Well, bless your little heart, Jeremy.  I was proud of him.  And I was amused because he was so proud of himself.  Then my thoughts turned to Sarah, my not-so-perky-in-the- morning 7th grader.  Why, oh why, does it take her one hour to complete ONE subject, and her "little" brother can complete almost his entire day of school in roughly that same amount of time??  *Deep breath*  (see above blog post)  I feel slightly ashamed, though, too.  I think my kids are pretty sick of me ranting and raving (sometimes a little too loudly) about us not getting our work done every day.

2)  A SIGN OF THE TIMES:   I was making my bed, and picking up a pile of clothes my husband had left on the floor by his side of the bed (not an irritant to me; I do it too).  I noticed that he had two different styles of socks that he'd worn the night before with his evening lounge clothes.  I knew exactly why.  *SIGH*  It wasn't because he's a poor sock matcher.  It's because he thought I was behind in washing whites; he felt compelled to grab whatever white socks were in his sock bin, regardless of their length (one was a sock that came to mid-calf, the other was a bootie-style of sock).  I'm sure he was fearful of asking whether there were any clean socks around so that he could have a matching pair.  He was fearful of me yelling, "No!  So I'm behind in the wash?  So sue me!!!" (or something like that)  Oh, no, dear husband, I'm caught up on the WASHING, thank you very much.  :-)  I'm just not caught up on the sorting, folding and putting away of it all.  Doesn't he know by now that when in doubt, look for a basket of clean laundry somewhere in the house, that you're sure to find what you're looking for?? 

3)  A BURST OF CREATIVENESS:  The kids and I played Matthew's I Spy Bingo game yesterday afternoon.  Matthew knows his letters, and even the sounds they make.  So, I'm trying to take him to the next level.  We're working on writing his letters.  We're even working on blending simple, short vowel words (bat, hat, sat, etc.).  He needs work on recognizing beginning sounds, ending sounds, etc., so that's the twist I put on the game for Matthew.  I drew a card and said, "I spy a letter that starts the word ______."  And in order to be able to place the tile on that space, if his board showed that letter, he'd have to correctly tell me the letter that makes that beginning sound of the word I said.  He did very well.  What about for the older kids?  They are WAY beyond letter sounds, etc.  How do I make this game educational?  Normally I'd sit there for a long time, pondering this.  But an answer came to me right away.  Sarah and Jeremy, in order to be able to cover up the letter on their board, had to give me a term from our history studies that begins with that letter.  For example, when the letter "D" was drawn, Sarah blurted out "Diocletian", the Roman emperor that divided the Roman Empire in two when it got too big for just him to rule.  So fun!!!  I fudged on a few things; like the letter "X"......YOU try to come up with a historical term that starts with the letter X.  Anyway, it was a good time, and a display of creativeness that is few and far between with me.